I'm in a funk. Blame it on Saturn's return, late twenties, or ungratefullness. Whatever the reason, I'm going to kick it. I'm not like super sad or anything it's just like a case of the Mondays, except it's Monday-Thursday. On Saturday and Sunday, I couldn't be happier. But during the week, I feel like time escapes me.
-----ugh, wake up again, i want to sleep in, ugh wash my hair again, oh running late, no parking, i'm hungry, but i ate breakfast, oh someone brought donuts, great, i can't eat that, finally lunch, don't leave for lunch, sit at your desk, do work, everyone else is, lunch is over anyway, get back to work, meeting, snack, you can't have a snack, you just had lunch, i wonder what the rest of the world is doing, too bad, get back to work, it's only 2:30, ugh, it's only 3:15 ugh, i need this, she doesn't have time, i need that, he won't respond, ugh it's only 3:30, i want a coke zero, you just had one, ugh it's only 4:00. i should go work out. stay at work, everyone else is. finally home. ugh it's already 8pm. i have to eat something. no carbs for you, no dessert for you. yeah, you worked out, but you should run too. oh you missed project runway again, that retinol-a isn't working, you should shave, pack for the next day, make your lunch, wash clothes. go to bed it's 11pm, you are going to be so tired tomorrow. -----
I hate to even mention it publicly because I know that I am being ungrateful and spoiled. I live a cushy life in a First World country. I just need to evaulate my imbalance and get back on track to the peace and balance I felt last Spring. I know last Spring was totally different because I was just starting a new job, it wasn't stressful yet, and my social life was out of this world good. New Orleans was amazing with the festivals, Mardi Gras, and a Superbowl win.
It's silly to even consider being unhappy. I have a stable job, make more than I ever have, have a great place to live (rent-free!), I am in the process of buying a house, I have romance for the first time, and I have something fun to do every weekend. What more can a girl want? I know. I know. It makes no sense. Let's just get it over with. Let's just list it out and find some solutions so that I can quit my whining.
Last Spring:
I lost weight (zero exercise and a diet of king cake and beer)
This Fall:
Gained like 15 pounds and weigh more than I ever have. (tried to give up beer, tried to give up sugar, and i work out 3x a week)
Last Spring: Work was new and my workload light.
This Fall: Work is a predicable regimen and my workload heavy.
That's it I guess. I just need to figure out how to deal with these two issues. Shouldn't be hard, right?
Solution #1: Run.
This is going to suck. I can run in intervals of one minute, that's it. I can alternate running and walking for one minute, but only for 30 minutes. After that I have to walk. It sucks big time AND my shins kill me. For some reason though, I feel like if I was able to run 5 days a week for 30 minutes straight and do pilates or yoga the other two days that I'd be able to lose weight and not feel guilty if I have a snack.
So I'm going to have to start trying to run/walk for an hour 5x a week until I can run for 30 minutes straight. Man, this is going to suck.
Solution #2: At a lose on this one, other than suck it up. I know the majority of the universe hates their jobs. At least I don't hate it. Guess I just need to suck it up and work for the weekends.
If you have any advice or want to tell me how whiny and ungrateful I am being, feel free to comment below.
