"A" Shares Her Story

Even with a small readership and a very inconsistent post schedule, somehow this blog has managed to inspire people. I've gotten messages from readers saying that they can relate to my story and find inspiration from my journey. One such reader shared her story with me, and I hope that reading it sparks something positive in one of you.

Dear Bugeyed Lindsay,  

A year ago I was miserable.  I was living in a far away land (Charlotte, North Carolina) under the spell of an evil prince....

Okay, so I was dating a jerk and deep down I guess I always knew he was a jerk but I loved his daughter so much, and she reminded me of myself. I never wanted her to feel about her parents the way I feel about mine so I tried to make it work with her father.  I also wanted to get away from everyone and everything I knew in Louisiana.  I wanted to not have to listen to my mother complain about her mother, while sounding and acting just like her.  I wanted to live in a place where no one knew my name....or where I grew up...or who I had dated....or what I had done the previous week.  I wanted to escape from my life.  So I graduated from college, packed my truck and drove off to my new home.

Sadly I began to realize that I had moved across the country to be with a man who was not anything that he advertised he was.  He wasn't a good father.  He wasn't a good partner.  He wasn't a hard worker.  He wasn't faithful or honest or true to his word.  It was hard to believe the little voice inside who knew the truth, especially when this man lied to me everyday.  It took all the strength I had to pick up the phone and call my mother and ask for her help.   It took every fiber of my being to come back to a city that I thought had failed me...to a family that had turned their backs on me. The first 6 months were a struggle.

For months I questioned why I had come home.  It certainly wasn't because New Orleans had become so peaceful that the crime rate had dropped.  It wasn't because my family had stopped being insane.  It wasn't just because the saints were destined to win the super bowl. 

I struggled to pick up the pieces of my life.  To figure out who I was and who I wanted to be.  Each day was a new day to learn from my experiences...to find pleasure in the simple things...to find solace in my friends. 

In moving away I got what I thought I wanted.  It turned out to be a year long taste of vanilla flavored boredom and it made me realize that sometimes it's nice to have someone know your name...like Gene at The Grocery.  I walked in the door to my favorite sandwich shop after having been gone for a year and he called out my name and asked me where I had been.  I replied "no place good, but I'm home now" and I was. 

After settling in I went on my first vacation in years.  It was my first time out of the city since my return and I finally felt at ease.  I knew where my home was.  I knew that my relationship with my city was a give and take and I finally accepted that I might be alone for the rest of my life.  I accepted who I was and I was finally content just being me.  I think that's the reason I finally met the right man. 

I had come home to heal.  I had come home to have a pressed poboy at The Grocery and have Gene remember me.  I had come home to go back to working at one of the best restaurants in this city (which I have come to manage over the last few months). I had come home to be close to my niece who is one of the most beautiful, amazing people I have ever known and I am excited to watch her graduate in May.  I had come home to start repairing all of the relationships in my life that needed mending.  And as I discovered on July 4, 2010 I had come home to meet the male version of myself.  My other half.  The person who would come to love and understand me like no other.  

I discovered there really is no place like home and I'm happy to be here. 



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